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Book Excerpt from Guidelines to Candle Lighting & Separating Challah

Guidelines to Candlelighting and Separating Challah: Questions and Answers about the Laws of Candle Lighting and Separating Challah By Rabbi Elozor Barclay and Rabbi Yitzchok Jaeger The Jewish woman's guide to two of her most precious mitzvos: separating challah, & lighting the Shabbos/Sabbath candles. For every Jewish home, and beginners, too. Buy this book at a special online price at www.targum.com

Chapter Eight

Accepting Shabbos

118. Must a woman accept Shabbos when kindling the lights?
It is the established custom that in normal circumstances a woman accepts Shabbos when lighting. She is then obligated to keep all the laws of Shabbos, both Torah and rabbinic, despite the fact that it may still be well before sunset. Therefore, she should make sure that all the necessary jobs around the house have been completed before she kindles the lights.

119. Must other members of the family accept Shabbos with her?
No, the husband, sons, and daughters are not obligated to accept Shabbos at this time. They may continue to do weekday activities until shortly before sunset, or until the community accepts Shabbos. In some families, the daughters have the custom to accept Shabbos when the mother lights, in which case they should adhere to their custom.

120. Must a woman accept Shabbos early if her husband does?
No. She is not required to accept Shabbos at the same time as her husband, and may kindle lights at any time before her husband returns home. In this situation, it is common for the husband to leave the house before plag hamincha, and the wife must take care to wait until plag hamincha before kindling the lights (see question ý76).

121. May a woman ask others to do weekday activities after she has kindled the lights?
Yes. She may directly instruct anyone who has not yet accepted Shabbos to do remaining jobs. This is permitted until shortly before sunset (as long as the community has not yet accepted Shabbos).

122. May she daven mincha after lighting?
No. Since she has accepted Shabbos it is no longer possible to daven Friday's mincha. See also question ý88.

123. May she have a drink after lighting?
- Before sunset, she may drink water if she is thirsty. If necessary, she may have other drinks such as tea.
- After sunset, she may not have any drinks. If she wishes, she may recite kiddush over a cup of grape juice and eat a kezayis of cake. In extenuating circumstances when it is not possible to make kiddush, she may drink until nightfall.

124. May she eat after lighting?
This is forbidden even before sunset. If she wishes, she may recite kiddush over a cup of grape juice and eat a kezayis of cake. If she made a stipulation not to accept Shabbos when lighting, she may eat and drink anything until close to sunset (see question ý132).

125. In which circumstances may she stipulate not to accept Shabbos?
Since this procedure is questionable, it may only be used in times of great need, when acceptance of Shabbos would cause extreme difficulty.

126. Which situations are considered as a great need?
- She has not finished her preparations for the mikveh.
- She must travel to the mikveh after lighting.
- She is feeling weak and needs to eat or drink after lighting. Nevertheless, it is better to light without a stipulation and make kiddush, if this is feasible.

127. May she make the stipulation in order to travel to the Kosel?
It is questionable whether this is a sufficient need to justify making the stipulation. A woman who wishes to be at the Kosel on Friday night should make arrangements to spend Shabbos nearby. This will allow her to kindle lights and accept Shabbos as usual, and then walk to the Kosel.

128. May she make the stipulation when making early Shabbos?
If the Shabbos lights are kindled before the standard time, someone in the family must accept Shabbos. In extenuating circumstances when a woman must stipulate that she is not accepting Shabbos, she must ensure that her husband or a child over bar/bas mitzvah accepts Shabbos when she kindles the lights. (See questions ý79-ý82.)

129. How should a woman make the stipulation?
Before kindling the lights she must think that she does not wish to accept Shabbos through this action of lighting. It is not necessary to verbalize this. See also question ý111.

130. Must she think about the specific activity that must be done after lighting?
No. In fact, such a thought may invalidate the stipulation. If she would think, "I wish to do this or that after candle lighting", she would not be permitted to do it. Rather she should have the general thought, "I do not wish to accept Shabbos through kindling these lights".

131. Which activities are permitted after making the stipulation?
All weekday activities are permitted. She may also eat and drink, and daven mincha.

132. Until when are these activities permitted?
Until any one of the following occurs:
- It is a few minutes before sunset.
- The community to which her husband belongs has accepted Shabbos.
- She davens ma'ariv.
- She decides to accept Shabbos.

133. What should she do to accept Shabbos?
She should say that she now accepts Shabbos.

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