The Breath and Body of Inner Torah By Miriam Millhauser Castle Jewish spirituality for the Jewish woman: Miriam Millhauser Castle's renowned empowering Inner Torah approach to Jewish self-awareness & development that gives clarity to our physical-oriented world. Buy The Breath and Body of Inner Torah at a special online price at www.targum.com

The Breath of Life

It all begins with breath. “And the Lord G-d formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and man became a living soul” (Bereishit 2:7). Through breath the soul enters the body at birth, leaves the body at death, and is tethered to the body in life. The Hebrew word for breath, neshimah, and the Hebrew word for soul, neshamah, are virtually identical, sharing the same root. Some say that the letter yud, which is added to the word neshamah to make it neshimah is to remind us that G-d, to Whom the letter yud refers, breathed into us the very breath of our lives and through it our souls are always connected to Him.

Breath is life. It is the way halachah determines whether someone is still alive, requiring that a feather be placed in front of the person’s nose to see if he is breathing. Breath is also a bridge between body and soul, between conscious and unconscious parts of ourselves, and between people. If we could fully utilize this miraculous capacity that Hashem bestowed on us, we would be more enlivened, more connected to HaKadosh Baruch Hu, more in sync with ourselves, and more in harmony with each other.

Yet it is known that most people use only a small percentage of their respiratory capacity. This has ramifications not only in the context of our ability to be all that Hashem created us to be, but also in the realm of maintaining our basic health and well being. The exchange of gases — oxygen and carbon dioxide — that is the hallmark of breathing is essential to the production of energy in our cells.

Every function of the body requires oxygen. Breathing supplies this life-giving oxygen and removes the gaseous waste produced by all our cellular activity. We need a constant turnover of air to stay healthy. The movements of the diaphragm and other parts of our respiratory apparatus that characterize breathing are intended as well to massage our inner organs. Both body and soul long for us to breathe as fully and naturally as possible.

What constitutes full and natural breathing differs for everyone. Each person, according to her physical structure, has her own way of breathing for maximum efficiency with minimum effort at any given moment. There is no one correct way to breathe for all times. Rather, there is optimum use of our perfectly designed respiratory system according to our unique individual needs. That’s why if we’re able to be in our own natural breath rhythm, we are more able to be who we truly are.

The difficulty is that breath is affected by everything that happens in our inner and outer worlds. If we’re having a nice experience, or even thinking of one, we breathe more expansively. Conversely, when we’re in, or even thinking of, a difficult situation, breathing volume decreases and we often feel a sense of tightness. This phenomenon is reflected in the commentary on the verse, “So Moshe spoke accordingly to the children of Israel; but they did not heed Moshe, because of shortness of breath and hard work” (Va’eira 6:9). Rashi states that anyone who is under stress is unable to breathe deeply; and in the Siftei Chachamim it explains that the Israelites’ shortness of breath reflected their troubled state of mind.

Every feeling and thought, every outside influence, expresses itself in our breath — as, of course, does tension, which causes muscles to tighten and air pressure to build in the lungs. Posture also affects breathing; slumping stops the breath from opening fully.

It’s understandable, then, why natural breathing is easily disrupted. Before we are even old enough to have any awareness, most of us are already off of our G-d-given breath rhythm. Without attention, we continue on that distorted path and later in life find ourselves far from home, far from our own centers and our own connection to reality. Yet often we don’t even know it. Our patterns — of breathing and living — become so habitual, so familiar, that we mistake them for our true way.

This happens in part because breathing is primarily regulated by the autonomic nervous system, which, for the most part, operates on its own. So the body seemingly breathes itself. That allows distortion to be incorporated into the nervous system and the musculature of the body, and restricted breathing to become the norm. In other words, we begin to automatically breathe in ways other than our natural breath, and that becomes our experience of normal. The body accommodates us with muscular and structural holdings that keep the habitual patterns in place. As with the impulse to do Inner Torah work, it usually takes some disruption in the status quo, some sense of imbalance or dissatisfaction, to motivate a person to try to reach a place of greater authenticity in her breath and herself. Recognizing the need to change is a necessary first step. It’s the impetus to begin to pay attention, to do what one can to release the various holdings that were unconsciously developed, and allow a return to a more authentic breath.

What’s important to remember is that the movement off of our natural breath occurred at a deep unconscious level over a period of many years. Already as very young children, we often start to breathe less, or breath hold, in order to feel less. Then it becomes a habit. Young children are also very susceptible to tension and pressure, both of which wreak havoc on small respiratory systems. The impact can be significant, actually altering personalities and changing the course of lives. To return the breath to its rightful rhythm, we need to access it at this same deep level. And that takes time. We can’t get there by force, by trying to control or manipulate the breath.

In fact, in this context, artificial means of manipulating the breath may actually be counterproductive. They can cement existing limitations into place or add layers to what is already distorted. The involuntary breathing muscles are deep inside the body. In contrast, voluntary controls involve muscles that are more external. When we exert conscious control and mechanically do breathing exercises, we destroy the breath’s sensitivity to changing inner states. We lose the opportunity to know and experience ourselves on a deeper, more essential level.

That is not to say that there is never a place for controlling the breath, for working with the breath from the outside. Such work is usually directed toward a specific purpose, such as increasing oxygen intake, stimulating circulation, relieving symptoms of illness, or improving performance. Using the breath as a means to achieve these preconceived ends may, at times, be appropriate.

We also are not talking about situations where there are actual breathing disorders that need to be addressed medically. Obviously, in such cases, controlled intervention may be called for. It’s also important to realize that sometimes apparent distortions in breathing are compensating for a metabolic disorder elsewhere in the body and are actually a survival mechanism. So there needs to be an understanding of the purpose for which we are attending to our breath.

In Inner Torah work, our intentions are to let the breath guide us into deeper and truer relationship with ourselves, closer to our G-dly essence. So, for our purposes, we want to access breath in its purest, most authentic state. We are cultivating change from the inside, seeking in ourselves only that which is in alignment with our souls’ truth. Benefits sought in more directed breathing work are often a byproduct of this approach; the difference is that they are achieved more slowly and without forcing.

In an Inner Torah context, our aim is to remove habitual controls and allow the involuntary, G-d-given breathing process to take over. What we want to do is to move under the distortion and uncover what is authentically ours. We want to release the holdings, tensions, and restrictions that limit the free flow of breath. To do this we need to become aware of the function of the involuntary nervous system without interfering, to observe without jumping in to control — an ability that is anyway useful to cultivate in life.

This approach lies in between unconscious, involuntary breathing, which is what we do when we are totally unaware of our breath, and conscious, voluntary breathing, which is what we do when we control the breath. We’re essentially witnessing the unconscious functioning of our breathing without disturbing its course. Instead, we’re inviting it to shift by virtue of our awareness and whatever stimulation we provide that allows change to happen.

Since restricting our breath is a common way to repress emotions, there is often a relationship between the muscular tension of the body and held emotions. In that case, the emotion must be freed and the tension released for the capacity for natural breathing to be restored. Inner Torah work itself contributes greatly to achieving this core level of release.

When younger, vulnerable selves that are hidden in the holdings in our bodies are uncovered and related to in healing, nurturing ways, the body releases its grip on that particular part of our structure. That’s the ease that most people feel when they’ve genuinely reached and been able to comfort a distressed part of themselves. That ease is invariably reflected in the breath, which then flows a little freer.

One reason for this release is that for an Inner Torah intervention to be successful, it must be truthful. And nothing frees the breath more than speaking honestly. G-d’s stamp is truth. Being truthful with oneself (and, when appropriate, others) generates expansion within, giving the soul space for expression. Falsehood causes contraction and tightening and forces the soul into hiding.

Then there is the release of the emotion itself, the invitation to the part of the self holding the difficult feeling to finally express herself and be listened to wholeheartedly. That, coupled with the willingness on the part of the adult self to take responsibility and commit to being sensitive to the needs and feelings expressed, alleviates the need to hold on.

Breath can be a barometer of where we are with ourselves. When we’re honest with ourselves, when we relate in ways that are genuinely responsive, there is a sense of ease in the rib cage and diaphragm, and the breath flows easily. Disturbance in the breath, the slightest sense of being off-balance, is a sign that a greater level of truth, of self-awareness, is waiting to be accessed. Each time we heed that call and come more into alignment with ourselves, we are strengthened. That strength, in turn, enables us to look at ourselves and all that surrounds us more directly and forthrightly.

Breath is also a metaphor for how we live in the world. Any grasping, holding on, controlling, and pushing away we do in our lives is reflected in our breath. Breathing with real freedom requires no effort to pull the breath in or to push it out, no grasping, no holding on, no controlling. Each breath is allowed to come and go on its own.

It sounds like it should be easy. But it isn’t. Affected as it is by everything that happens to us, the breath is easily thrown out of alignment. Without even realizing it, we hold our breath or breathe shallowly whenever confronted with a difficulty. That may help minimize uncomfortable feelings in the moment, but it doesn’t help us to be fully ourselves and bring all that we are to the situation at hand. And that is the goal in Inner Torah work. We want to be able to access as much of our true capacity as adults as we can, to become increasingly more trustful of ourselves. Becoming aware of our breath can help.

It begins with the simple act of paying attention. First just notice the breath without trying to manipulate it in any way. Then notice the flow of breath out of the body, allowing the exhale to continue as long as the body wants. Next sense the pause that occurs at the end of the exhale and watch the next inhale arise of its own accord out of the pause. Finally, notice the very slight pause that follows the inhale. This small act of awareness, in and of itself, can bring us into contact with ourselves and help us to see a situation more clearly.

In Inner Torah, I noted that doing this is particularly useful for women with issues in the realm of existence because of the ease with which breath synchronizes with the breath of those around us. Breath naturally attaches to what is outside and can easily stay attached. In response, we need to be able to stand firm in ourselves, in our exhale, so that taking in and giving out are in right balance. Otherwise, without even knowing it, we can take on a breath rhythm that is not our own. This makes it harder to experience and act from an authentic place in ourselves and to separate from whoever our breath has attached to.

Another group for whom breath awareness is particularly important is those who tend to live energetically in their upper bodies, virtually vacating their lower torsos (see “Getting to Know the Energy Body”). For these people, the breath can literally serve as a guide back into the body, most notably on the exhale. The key is not to superimpose a rhythm on the body’s natural rhythm. Many have a tendency to cut short the exhale or the pause and grab the next breath. That’s a way to unconsciously pull out of the body. By allowing the breath without interfering in any way, one is gently led back into the body and able to function better from there.

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